


Election Night Special

by RyreValast



Category: RWBY
Genre: Elections, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyreValast/pseuds/RyreValast
Summary: Its Election day. Don't know where to start, who to watch or what to do? Well don't worry because the RWBY crew have you covered.
Kudos: 2





	Election Night Special

“Good evening and welcome, you are listening to the Beacon Broadcasting Corporation” Said Ozpin the announcer “this evening on channel Two we have Dancing with Grimm followed by the life and times of Roman torchwick, Criminal Mastermind, but stay tuned to channel One for our election night special live from Beacon Hall.”

(Insert title screen of choice here)

The title screen fades to an image of Weiss and Ruby sat behind a broad desk with a large display wall behind them “Good evening I’m Weiss Schnee-”

“And i'm Ruby Rose”

“And welcome to this year's election night special” Weiss continued before glancing at Ruby who was vibrating in her seat “ There's tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We're not sure where it will be from, it might be Mantle or perhaps from South Mistral, the polling's been quite heavy in both areas.”

Ruby Jumped to her feet “Hold on I'm just getting... I'm just getting... a buzzing noise in my left ear. Urgh, argh!” Ruby batting at her ear frantically, before stamping on something repeatedly.

“I'm sorry Ruby we don’t have time for that as the results have just come in from South Mistral” Weiss said turning to a large display.

Yang appears before a large crowd “Good evening Weiss. It's a straight fight here in South Mistral and we're expecting the result any moment now. There with the Returning Officer is Leonardo Lionheart the sensible candidate and next to him is Amber Violet Maleficent Gertrude Malachite 3rd the silly candidate with her agent” Yang puts a hand to her Ear “and here are the results for South Mistral. Leonardo Lionheart-”

“Sensible Party” Weiss interjected

“30,612” Yang announced as applause broke out in the background. “Amber Violet Maleficent Gertrude Malachitel 3rd-”

“Silly Party”

“33,108” Yang announced as further applause broke out.

“Thank you Yang” Weiss said before turning back to face the camera. “Well Ruby the Silly party has held South Mistral, what do you think of that?”

“Well it was largely as I predicted except that the Silly party won. I believe this is largely due to the number of votes cast. Ren?”

The camera cuts to Ren who is standing before his own display with a swingometer on it “Well there's a big swing here to the Silly Party, but how big a swing I'm not going to tell you.” He said before the camera cut back to the desk where the girls are now joined by Jaune.

“I think one should point out here that in this constituency since the last election a lot of very silly people have moved into new housing estates with the result that a lot of sensible voters have moved further down the road the other side of number er, 29.” Ruby said seriously

“Well I can’t...er add anything to that” Weiss said visibly dumbfounded “Jaune?”

“Can I just say that this is the first time I've been on television?” Jaune said

“No I'm sorry, there isn't time, we're just going straight over to Mountain Glen” said Weiss as she turned back to the displays.

This time it was Blake standing before the crowd “Good Evening Weiss. Here at Mountain Glen it's a three-cornered contest between, from left to right,  Fox Alistair for the  Sensible Party, Duke Roman Tiberius Torchwick for the Silly party, and the Shopkeeper, who is running on the Slightly Silly ticket.” Blakes ear twitches “And here's the results Fox Alistair-”

“Sensible”

“9,112. The Shopkeeper-

“Slightly Silly”

“Zero. Duke Roman Tiberius Torchwick”

“Silly”

“12,144” at this final result applause broke out in the background, and the camera cuts back to the desk.

“Well there we have it. The Silly party have managed to take Mountain Glen. Ruby your Take?”

“Well this is a very significant result. Mountain Glen, normally a very sensible constituency with a high proportion of people who aren't a bit silly, has gone completely loopy.”

Weiss lifts her head from her hands “And we've just heard that Blake has with her the winning Silly candidate at Mountain Glen”

The Camera cuts to a scene of Blake and Roman Torchwick standing together. Roman is wearing a tweed suit and fake walrus mustache. “Duke Torchwick, are you pleased with this result?” Blake asked.

“Indeed, Indeed, Indeed my dear lady. It is absolutely smashing. Why it reminds me of my younger days-”

The camera cuts back to the studio “I swear i've seen him somewhere before-”

“WEISS” Ruby hissed.

“What?-AH! Erm do we have a swing?” The camera cuts to the now abandoned Swingometer display that has been knocked slightly askew, the muffled sounds of struggling can be heard in the background. The camera then cuts back “apparently not...Jaune your thoughts?”

“Can I just say that this is the second time I've been on television?”

“I'm sorry Juane but I must cut you off as we are just getting another result. This time it's coming from Atlas central.”

“A very interesting constituency: in addition to the official Silly candidate there is an unofficial Very Silly candidate, and they could well split the silly vote here at Atlas central.” Ruby said

A visibly out of breath Yang appears on the screen. “I'm here at Atlas Central and-Damn. The results are as follows. Ruby Rose-”

“Silly-wait you ran?!”

“26,317. Fennec Albain”

“Sensible-It was a spur of the moment thing, besides its not like its illegal.”

“26,318. Qrow hey your a pretty looking lady how would you like to see my Huntsmans weapon Branwen”

“Very Silly-Illegal?! Just wait until upper management catches up with you, we are going to have a serious talk after this young Lady!”

“2.” A lone man can be heard cheering in the background “Woohoohooo Yeah!”

The screen returns to the Studio “Well there you have it, a Sensible gain at Atlas Central with the Silly vote being split.” Weiss said.

“And we've just heard from Mountain Glen that Blake has with her there the unsuccessful Slightly Silly candidate, the Shopkeeper.”

The camera cuts back to Blake who is now standing with the Shopkeeper “You polled no votes at all. Are you at all disappointed with this performance?” The Shopkeeper replies with a series of indistinct grumbles before jumping up and down and then storming off. The Camera returns to the studio.

“Right...well. Jaune?”

“Can I just say that I'll never appear on television again?”

“NO! We er we don’t have time for that. Ren do you have the swing?” The camera cuts to the swingometer which now has Nora stood in front of it “Oh crap-”

Nora cuts in with a big grin and gesticulates wildly with her arms “Well The night started with a swing to the silly party followed by a bigger swing to the silly party before swinging right back to the sensible party” on the screen the swingometer swings around wildly before falling over and taking the display with it and starting a fire. Nora laughs maniacally at the destruction.

Staring at the scene Weiss throws up her arms “THATS IT! I quit, this was a stupid idea and I am never doing it again.” She storms off the stage leaving a shocked Ruby behind alone at the desk.

“Errrrrm...ah! AD break....Ozpin Ad break.” Ruby shouted before vaulting the desk with a fire extinguisher in hand.

“And we will be right back after these commercials” The screen switches to an advert for (insert last searched product here).

**Author's Note:**

> Not everything revolves around you America. God...
> 
> I may have a terrible sense of Humour.
> 
> This one shot is based on the Election Night Special sketch by Monty Python. If you haven't seen it I recommend.  
> I also recommend Monty Python in general but they are a 70's British Comedy group so ye have been warned.


End file.
